I need to unleash this
let my words run raw
naked bloody prints over the paper
bring it all up
have a cathartic spewing of ink on paper
but
I have blinded myself
& in doing so
silenced myself
lost myself
I am floating
& blind
&drowning
with a smile on my face
consuming my death
one breath at a time

*************

I feel good
being a freak
fast,
hard
music
alternative metal
media baby
I want to be your cyber idol
follow me down
I’m spinning
I’m spinning
I want everything
senseless wonder
it’s all good
defecate
differentiate
contemplate
throw it all away
I cannot see
I cannot see anything for all the static in the air
chaos
in nothing
intoxicated bliss
bleeding into cups
fading scars
weeping wounds
star-crossed lies
ivy laden lights
magical fish
pins & ink
huge black birds & gargoyles
pierced brain
satanic minister
blurred memories
blank gods
we stand
& weep
& worship
& sigh
hands held high in devoted ecstasy
the violence of being stagnant
the simple action of rocking
it all makes sense
we all go insane with the knowledge
& forget who we were supposed to be
& there are never enough drugs to make it all come back
weep & want not
for nothing is supposed to make sense
so crack the sun
and pour bleach into the sky
the white is blinding
& I long for the night
with the bats & clouds
& a menstruating full moon
& the knowledge of the ancients to feed myself
gather all that was forgotten
void
barcode
you are the antichrist all in 16 numbers & a simple slide
slick weight
good girl