jaxens mommy

jaxen videos

2007-04-06T02:48:00.000-04:00

http://youtube.com/lizardjee

update

2006-12-07T00:05:00.000-05:00

had the twins in sept, jaeci died in october, they do not know why. i am updating everything at livejournal.. http://lizardjee.livejournal.com/profile

lost

2006-12-06T23:38:00.000-05:00

www.lost.eu/d565 <---here is your invite. <3 join the millions of sheep.. LOST is a student project that aims to show how 7 million people can connect to each other. It's also a game, and is trying to reach the highest number of players for any game, ever.

md appointment

2006-08-10T21:03:00.000-04:00

it all went well. i gave them the heads up that the insurance company is going to fight this again, the doctor said that the MFM doctor is going to fight back to have me keep until the pump until 37weeks! we are the office favorites i think. it helps to have an inside.;)the 2 doctors that were there after the appointment and were talking to us said that it would be no problem to have them both

looking ahead

2006-08-10T02:02:00.000-04:00

i have always loved fallthe start of a new year for me(my birthday is in october)i love the brightness of the leaves changingthe sun that is warm but not too warmbreezes that bring familiar and comforting smellsi have been having dreams of days like thesejeani and i outsideeach holding a babyhaving the scent of the top of his/her headmingle into the mixsigh..

routine

2006-08-10T01:46:00.000-04:00

i started to take showers every other day, "washing" with baby wipes on the other day. and i am shaving my head once a week. just trying to keep some sort of routine. trying to feel humannormalit gives me somthing to look forward toi love my showers, if i have not posted that enough.

tomorrow

2006-08-10T01:27:00.000-04:00

i have a doctors appointment tomorrow at 345p. i am not quite sure what they are going to dolisten to the babies? they are trying to do cultures and a pap smear, but i really do not want anything irritating my cervix its just with the ob, so no pictures. i am happy that i have my weight up to where it is suppose to be.

how i spent my summer vacation

2006-08-09T06:23:00.000-04:00

mia woke up at 4am, so we are eating popcorn and watching muppets from spacelolwhat else is summer about?she has to do so much house work and we aren't going to do anything this summer. this is going to be one of those memories that she carries with her. how cool is it to be 9 and "up all night" with your step mom (she slept from 11-4) and watching movies on summer vacation?does this make me a

out of shows

2006-08-09T03:57:00.000-04:00

is it sad that i have seen everything that comes on the discovery health channel? i am going to have to find a different channel to leave on all the time.i cannot stand the re runs.

awake babies

2006-08-09T03:19:00.000-04:00

i ate some extra dark chocolate, (because i had to)and the twins are doing the happy chocolate dance. i am just sitting here watching my belly, laughing at themi am so in love with themand having them in my bellyfeeling them movehaving them surprise me with a random hard kicki am sad... ...thinking that they will not be in there much longer...that this will probably be my only pregnancy...

weight

2006-08-08T08:40:00.000-04:00

i have had issues with gaining weight with the twins. i seem to just spend all day eating, and i was stuck at 170 (20 lb weigt gain)at 25 weeks now, i notice a huge change in my belly, and i am up to 175 as if yesterday.i just have to keep up the exhaustive eating schedule to keep it up. :)

want a new blog site?

2006-08-08T01:53:00.000-04:00

i have invites to vox.com if anyone is interested..

better than the osbournes

2006-08-08T01:48:00.000-04:00

http://www.aetv.com/genesimmonsfamilyjewels/

update

2006-08-08T01:15:00.000-04:00

i am currently on bed rest with twins.jeani and i have been together for 3 years. we are raising her bio daughter mia (9)feb 2005 we started ttc. i was 34 and my biological clock was ticking.i got pregnant on the second try, with the help of clomid, and i miscarried our daughter julia in june.after grieving, heartbreak, and many more tries. in feb 2006, thanks to gonal-f and lupron. we got

i forgot that i had this blog

2006-05-08T18:36:00.000-04:00

i am cheating on blogger and am over at livejournal http://lizardjee.livejournal.com/, my life has changed so much i dont even recognize these posts.its crazy.i should come back and update here as well..

2002-04-12T17:00:00.000-04:00

On a different note, i need some one to share my pain with.. sorta we started a new group at yahoogroups for lesbians into body mods.. tattoos, piercings, lobe streteching.. etc.. please come join us.. obvoiusly for wmn only.. thanks. Jee dyke_mod_squad

2002-04-12T10:52:00.000-04:00

Have you ever been in so much emotional pain that it hurt to breathe? I am there. Gram died on 20020321. The center of my universe ceased to exist. I am thrown off my revolution. I am free floating in the space of empty pain.

2002-02-11T02:58:00.000-05:00

poems: free floating anxiety mess slapping me in my own special darkness back into submission "getting a little confidence there little one?" cant allow that not there, not now unsettled in my skin i want darkness &beer &heavy depressing music - a nice suicide soundtrack self isolated ears ringing with the sound of my solitary breath i can see how

2002-02-11T02:56:00.000-05:00

I got this gameboy game for x-mas, called pac-attack from the early 80's.. it is a tetris like game in which the pac "ghosts" come down with the pieces and you have a random pac that comes down & devours the ghosts, thus causing the pieces to collapse and clears them off in in flash if you get the complete line. if you happen to be unfortunate enough to get a ghost trapped in between a few

2001-12-17T20:18:00.000-05:00

greetings and salutations. not doing much but being a good american and shoping for x-mas. got some good presents this year, and shopped a lot for me, the sales are great.. my paternal grandmother died the day before my birthday. it was a hard service, as my branch of the family tree is the rotten black sheep branch. i felt sad, but we had been shut out of the family long ago. winter here in

2001-10-01T03:24:00.000-04:00

i will be 31 in 4 days my paternal grandmother is dying in a bed 40 miles away i do not feel welcome to see her in the last days of her life let alone in the meeting after her death i do not feel welcome by much of my blood family why does intolerance have to run even blood deep? my heart is breaking as all my childhood illusions are being shattered one sickness at a time

2001-10-01T03:20:00.000-04:00

I need to unleash this let my words run raw naked bloody prints over the paper bring it all up have a cathartic spewing of ink on paper but I have blinded myself & in doing so silenced myself lost myself I am floating & blind &drowning with a smile on my face consuming my death one breath at a time ************* I feel good being a freak fast, hard music alternative metal media baby I

2001-09-22T12:22:00.000-04:00

my heart and thoughts and deepest condolences go out to the famlies of the victims of the recent terrorist attack on the USA. i do have to say that my feelings are mixed on the topic though. my mother lost a dear friend and co-worker.. someone that i had known and drank with on many occasions.. and someone very dear to my heart also lost someone close to him.. i cannot even begin to attempt to

2001-08-22T03:45:00.000-04:00

So Rita and I were watching the season finale of six feet under, and were deeply effected by the gay violence. And that is probably what set the mood for the weirdness that was to follow. (But is is a GREAT show for anyone who does not watch it.) We were getting ready to go to bed and I was rounding up the dogs, messing around with the million baby gates we have around the house, banging, making

2001-08-15T02:24:00.000-04:00

grannie too The smell is enough to make you cry I walk in to see her stuck behind a slow moving line elderly crabs marching towards dinner creaking wheel chairs all moving towards sustenance elbows creaking the elderly chairs forward crabs migrating clicking at each other when their chairs touch I want to pick my grandmother up and run, carry her out of there take her home feed her crab legs

2001-08-15T02:23:00.000-04:00

i only slack off part time, but I am in trouble ALL the time, even if I am just sitting quietly and reading a book. BUT if it is a CLEVER trouble, I will always sit silent, so people will just look at me and smile, because they all think me to be a sort of genius because I can fix almost anything that is broken by just looking it, but then they look at the rainbows an pentagrams in my ear and

2001-08-15T02:19:00.000-04:00

Gram in my dreams you still walk your legs work & your hips are not angled by your 82 year old bones deciding just to crack under the mere weight of you standing in my dreams you walk with me & tell me truths we walk down the correct path you are protective of me in my dreams ancestor worship shaman wisdom dream walker super ego name your belief system they all mesh I wonder if that is why

2001-08-03T11:04:00.000-04:00

shawks a cartoon SO worth checking out.. check for gills, baby.. and keep on keeping on.. -J

2001-08-03T11:00:00.000-04:00

oh FYI, my grandmother lived through another July.. it all gives me hope.. lol -j

2001-08-03T10:58:00.000-04:00

There is something to be said for working 16 hours non-stop nights, and then come home and have a few beers .. you can see everything clearly, and it all makes sense.. everything except for this summers' movie offerings. But then again, you have only to look back and think that this is the culture who NEEDED to have a pet rock or a bunch of animal shaped bean bags www.badfads.com .. Americans

2001-07-03T23:21:00.000-04:00

July 2, 1963...my uncle Joe was sitting under a tree with his girlfriend in her yard. They paid no heed to the impending storm clouds. By the time my grandmother and other uncle made it the 1/2 mile up there, he was already dead. He was struck by lightening with such a force that it knocked one of his shoes off. My grandmother has it in her closet still. She is the strongest person I know,

2001-06-19T10:56:00.000-04:00

Although it may seem that I am obsessed with working nights, I am actually not, I have been doing it for over 6 years so it is just my way of life now. Friday evening when I woke up there was a cryptic message on the answering machine from the realty company that works for the landlord (so we don’t have to directly bother him). Anyway, they angrily grumbled something about calling them back

2001-06-17T01:57:00.000-04:00

Greetings and Welcome to my attempt to chronicle my unique vision of the world. home Ok, now I will give an example of why the hell of working nights is all worth it.. It was 0800 and I was stopped at a red light in beautiful downtown Watervliet,NY. I had the wonderous fortune to catch a glimpse of the finest specimen of a man that Watervliet has to offer. He was sitting in his rusted out